Orient Express Day 21 Emmersdorf to Vienna - 126km [Part 2]

DISCLAIMER: 

Blog owner takes no responsibility for the guest blog of Stirling "Doctor Sluice" Lee

CYCLING WITH DAVID AND EDNA

An epic Yiddisch poem 

(badly translated by Stirling Lee)

I say a story so meshugenah,

It should be told only in Yiddisch

But I am but a simple Goyim

So here is English writed.

Today I rode with David and Edna.

Slowly as I let them pass

I planned upon a secret path

To Vienna where I knew a restaurant

Serving Wiener Schnitzel on a plate as big

As grandma's summer bonnet.

But from afar I saw

David headed to the Berlin Autobahn

"Come back, come back",

I cycled and yelled.

On the Donauweg for Vienna we go,

Not the Berlin Autobahn.

And so ten kilometres out,

Another ten kilometres in,

At Krems we decided then

That Edna take the lead.

Cutting the front of an Israeli cycle tour,

Edna in front, David and I behind,

She stops and says "which way, which way?"

And the Israeli column stopped.

Then David and I stop and say

"Straight ahead, straight ahead!"

Then Edna rides some thirty metres,

And stops and asks "which way, which way?"

Behind her all the Israelis stop,

And then we stop and from the rear we say

"Across the street and left at the lights."

Then Edna crosses the street and stops.

"Which way, which way?" she cries.

And the Israeli column stoips,

And we say "turn right, turn right!".

Some 30 minutes and 2 kilometres hence,

David blew his horn and roared.

Once more into the breach dear friends.

So David like his forefather Moses

Thus did smite the Israelites.

With David and Edna in the front

Behind and slow I plotted

My secret path to a Vienna restaurant

Where there was served bowls of goulash so deep

You could sink your foot up to your ankle.

Then again from afar I saw

David headed on a trail

To the wilderness in Carpathia.

"Come back, come back", I yelled out loud,

Thru bog and marsh and bracken

We do not head for Carpathia.

We must the Donauweg to Vienna ride.

Now all of this of which I tell 

Is just one tiny piece

Of a big long day

On which I cycle with David and Edna

.... For seven fucking weeks!!

OY VEY, THE HORROR, THE HORROR.